Month: January 2014

This morning brought an early rise after a sleepless night.  One of those nights where I just couldn’t get the brain to shut off.  I wrestled with the covers in an endless attempt to get comfortable.  Surely if I could just get in the right position my body and mind would relax and sleep would come….

So the coffee brews early and extra strong as I wander through the chaos that is the current state of my house, wondering what I can accomplish without disturbing the ones who are enjoying their sleep.  I am jealous.  I think that if I can just get those first two cups of coffee down I will be able to face the demands of this day.  I’ve already calculated what needs to be done and what time I will be able to crawl back in my bed tonight.  Early.

As the caffeine begins to chase away the brain fog, I read a devotional and it is perfect for this moment.  It reminds me that God already sees this day and He’s not worried about it at all.  He calls to me again, just to sit and relax and let Him love me.  His presence makes me acutely aware of my inability to do anything without Him.  The old me that would start the day in an effort to muster the strength needed is gone, and the now me gladly acknowledges my desperate need for His strength.  It pleases Him.

I glance up from my bible and see a poster I’ve hung by my desk that reminds me to pray for persecuted Christians around the world.  Persecuted Christians.  Believers that aren’t relaxing in a comfortable chair with a hot cup of coffee.  Believers that will wonder today if they will face bodily harm because of their faith.  Believers who have sacrificed everything to stand boldly for Christ.  Believers who are imprisoned by literal bars and chains.   I am humbled.

The old me would feel guilty about my freedom, my comforts in this life I have.  The now me knows that God sees my needs and is ever ready to help me even though so many face so much worse.  There is no sin in being blessed, in being born in a land that is free. Only if I would forget those who have so little.   In considering their needs, my words seem lacking.  But He knows and He hears.  So I pray.

Let’s not forget the amazing power of simple prayer.  Today, a believer I don’t know in another part of the world where I’ve never been is helped because I asked our Father.  Today, an unbeliever I don’t know in another part of the world I will never see hears the gospel of salvation and gives their heart to Jesus because I asked my Father.  It doesn’t require lofty words or even intense emotion.  It requires faith and the willingness to slow down long enough to remember those who need our prayers.

“…whatever you ask for in prayer, believe (trust and be confident) that it is granted to you, and you will get it.”  Mark 11:24

Last year I made a commitment to give God my Sundays as a true day of worship and rest.  The last quarter of 2012 had been very stressful for me, and the pressures of my work were going to continue into the new year.  Having a day to spend with God resting my body and mind sounded very appealing.  So for the better part of 2013 (with a few exceptions for family events), on Sundays I attended worship services in the morning, had lunch at home, and spent the remainder of the day in bed with my bible, computer, and journal.  There were opportunities to work and temptations to play, but I was determined to give myself time to recoup my strength and energy, and time to really give Him my attention.

What a novel idea!  Oh wait…it was God’s idea in the first place.  “Earnestly remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy (withdrawn from common employment and dedicated to God).  Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work…”  Exodus 20:8-10

Let me rephrase:  last year I decided to obey God and make my Sunday’s a true day of worship and rest.  I don’t believe God is too terribly concerned as to whether we give Him Sunday or Wednesday, or Saturday.  I do, however, believe He created us to need a day of rest from our labors and time to develop our worship relationship to Him.  A day dedicated to Him, making Him the center of our lives with no distractions.  He had a plan.

It has been the most deeply rewarding and fulfilling commitment I have ever made.  It has changed me.  It has deepened my relationship with Him more than words can describe.  I’ve learned so much from His word that I wonder where my spiritual life would be now if I had been giving Him what He asked for all these many years!  The sacrifice of the time was an act of worship in itself.  It honored Him, and He in turn began to open doors for me to do exactly what He has called me to do.  And He was faithful to do what He said He would do:  He led me by still waters, refreshed and restored my soul, and led me in the paths of righteousness – showed me more of His way of thinking and doing (Psalm 23).  It is now a lifelong commitment for me.

This last Sunday we received a notification that brought upheaval to our lives. My very first reaction to this bit of news was that anxious knot that begins in the stomach.  My thoughts began racing, “What are we going to do??  How are we going to work this out??”  Being an excessive planner by nature, my brain immediately began going through a mental list of everything I needed to do and how quickly I was going to have to make things happen.  I was just about to jump out of bed and get to work when I heard Him.

“It’s My day.”

“Yes, Lord, it is.”

“Wait with Me.  I’ll lead you and help you.  Don’t give in to the pressure.  Wait with Me.”

“Yes, Lord.”

I pulled the covers back over me, grabbed my bible and opened to Psalm 112   “Praise the Lord!  Blessed is the man who fears (reveres and worships) the Lord, who delights greatly in His commandments….prosperity and welfare are in his house….light arises in darkness…he shall not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is firmly fixed, trusting in the Lord…his heart is established and steady…”

You know that verse that talks about “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7)?  It washed over me like a flood!!  I refused to give the enemy the day.  I spent it praying and praising and RESTING.  When Monday came I was up for the task ahead of me that required much physical stamina.

But better than the rested body was the change in my attitude.  This unpleasant circumstance had overnight become a situation I was getting excited about!  I kept telling my husband “This is going to be an adventure!”  I have been able to keep my peace and my joy and watch God do amazing things in just a few short days.

Today I stopped at a Vietnamese restaurant for lunch.  As I turned to leave I grabbed a fortune cookie, the very last one in the bowl.  Once in the car I broke the cookie, retrieved my fortune and here’s what it said:

A bold and daring adventure is in your future within the year!

HAHA!!  I love God’s sense of humor!

I like running.  It’s my favorite workout – I don’t have to count, or learn tricky dance moves, and it requires no equipment other than a good pair of shoes.  It gives me time to think, or not think, depending on the mood of the day.  In the past I’ve had friends that ran with me, but I much prefer the solo runs.  I don’t want to talk or listen to music.  I just want to run.

Dogs are one of the greatest challenges to a relaxing run.  I was only a half mile from finishing a nice run one day when I was spotted by a Rottweiler who immediately made a beeline towards me, the owners screaming “STOP, TANK!!”.  Tank, an appropriate name for this enormous dog, was thankfully an obedient dog who returned to his master before devouring me.  I believe I ran faster that day than I had in many years.   Another time a different large dog came at me with greater success.  He was very aggressive and actually bit me twice before I could get away.  The bites weren’t serious at all, but my heart rate was seriously elevated from a combination of fear and anger, and for months after, I ran down that street with trepidation.

Big dogs are scary, but the small dogs are the worst.  They tend to be very brave despite their diminutive size, and often get so close they make contact.   Obviously the goal is to get past the little buggers without stepping on them or eating pavement.  Most of the time I can get past them.  But not always.  I’d gone many years without even the slightest injury from running, before I encountered him.  A deceptively cute little canine, he evidently believed the sidewalk was his personal space and I was the invader.  In just a few short seconds from the moment I saw him, he was beneath me and my plan to side step went awry.  I went down hard.  This one little dog brought my run to an end sent me limping home, bruised and bleeding.

Along with my love for running, I am extremely competitive.  When I run alone, I am usually focused on beating my previous run time, even if only by a few seconds.  Having not run much since high school, I enjoyed returning to it when I was living in a small, rural town.   In this area of the country, all the small towns had their yearly festivals throughout the spring, summer and fall, and each would hold a race.  The races would draw familiar faces as all who liked to compete would go from town to town and run.

From my home town there was a girl that was very fast.  She won the women’s division in every race, every town, every time.  She became my motivation.  My first goal:  just keep her in sight throughout the race.  Don’t let her get so far ahead of me that I can’t see her.  This took a few seasons.  However, my competitive nature drove me to practice harder each time, and before long I had met this goal.  I could see her back throughout the entire race.  Next goal:  stay within 10 yards of her throughout the race.  I practiced harder and met this second goal.  Final goal:  win, or at least tie for the win.  I diligently mapped out my weekly run schedule, knew the time I had to beat, and practiced like never before.

It’s the day of the race in my home town.  I am pumped!  I’m confident that I can not only keep her in sight or stay near her, I can win!  I ran like never before, remaining very close to her the entire race.  I can see it – the finish line.  I am right beside her running as hard as I can.  We cross the finish line and they call a tie!!  I did it!!

I am very proud of my finish that day, but that’s not what I remember the most about this race.  What I remember are the fifteen to twenty minutes immediately following our grand finish.   My muscles are throbbing, my knees are shaky, my ankles wobbly – it is all I can do to put one foot in front of the other.  I am struggling to walk upright.  I look over and this young woman is walking around with her friends laughing and talking!!  She’s full of energy and I want to crawl back to the car and have someone drive me home for a hot bath and bed!  In my enthusiasm to compete, my lust for the win, I neglected to take into account the age factor. She was a teenager and I was pushing forty!!  That race made me appreciate the fact that they place you in an “age category” for a reason, and I retired from competing against teenagers that day.

“let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance and that sin which so readily clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us…”  Hebrews 12:1

We are in a race and there are “dogs” after us.  The big dogs are the unnecessary weights that we carry around – worry, shame, guilt, etc.  When they show up, we live our lives in fear and trepidation.  The little dogs that entangle us and trip us up are the sins we allow to remain – unforgiveness, resentment, jealousy, etc.  They are pesky and hard to get rid of, and trying to side step them instead of removing them always causes us to fall.  This verse instructs us to strip them off and throw them aside!!  We can’t run and be steady with these things hanging on to us.  And look at that last part:   …let us run…the appointed course of the race that is set before us.

Whose race are we trying to run?  Are we on our appointed course of this race, or are we measuring our success on how someone else is running their race?  The finish line is the same for every believer and we will all see each other there.  But we each have to seek the course God has for us so that we’re not exhausted and trying to crawl just to finish!!

I walked away from that race with a small medal of some kind that I have no idea what ever happened to it.  There is something so much greater we’ll receive from this race we’re in:

“Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things.  They do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness that cannot wither.”  1 Corinthians 9:25

WooHoo!!  See you at the finish line!!

Six years.  That’s the longest period of time I lived in any one house as a child.  We moved a lot.  My sophomore year of high school we moved four times.  My parents moved for the fortieth time on their fortieth wedding anniversary.  One would think that we had experienced a vast exposure to many different places and people, which could have been the case had we ever left Liberty County, Texas. Throughout the many moves, I remained in the same school, except for two years in a neighboring school district.  We joked that we must have gypsy blood.

But the home most remembered is the rough cedar house built by my father in which we stayed the longest.  It was in the country with large oak trees in the yard, much room to play outdoors, and my grandmother living in the house behind us (also built by my father and previously inhabited by our family).   We slept with the doors unlocked and windows open with no worry of intruders.  At least not the human kind.

It was not uncommon for snakes to get in the house.  I remember my mother placing us all on top of the dining table as she ran off with the broom to kill a snake.  You’ve got to be really good to kill a snake with a broom!  But the combination of her protective instincts and a serious hatred of snakes brought great strength and success.  Needless to say, this episode created in me a fear of snakes, especially under my bed.  Nevermore at bedtime did I approach the edge of the bed gently, sit down and pull my feet up to lie down.  No, from that point on, going to bed involved great athletic skill.  I began running from the door and leaping the last few feet, pulling the string to turn off the light while in mid-air, hoping that once my body hit the mattress the string would not still be in my hand.  (Pulling the chain out of the light fixture was a most distressing thing to our father; however, the need to protect myself from being eaten alive by snakes far outweighed any fear of reprimand.)

Nighttime brought a myriad of sounds – the rattle of the attic fan, the rustle of leaves in the wind, the symphony of frogs and crickets.  One of the large oak trees happened to be just outside my bedroom window, and on a bright moonlit night the swaying branches provided the moving shadows that often turned into ghosts.  I don’t think I ever told anyone I was afraid of ghosts.  But I remember the heart-racing fear of the unknown, the inability to move as I was sure it was more than a shadow coming after me, strange, new noises just outside my window….

There were worse things than pulling the chain out of the light fixture.  One of those was to wake my father in the middle of the night.  It just wasn’t an option.  At some point during my prayers to be invisible I would fall asleep, and awaken the next morning relieved to discover that the ghosts had not captured me, or whatever ghosts do to people.  All was well.  Until bedtime came again.

I don’t know exactly when the shadow ghosts left me and the other ghosts moved in.  As my life began to unfold, they slowly and subtly crept in to invade my peace, keeping me awake many nights.  Perhaps they’ve visited you as well – the ghost of past sins, or the ghost of bad choices.  Maybe the snakes under the bed lie waiting for you, too – the snake of shame and regret, or worst of all, the snake of fear.  He was the strongest, cunningly whispering in my ears that I would never truly be loved.  I tried for many years just to shut my eyes and pray to be invisible, or run fast enough to leave them all far behind, but they always found me, and the morning sun no longer chased them away.

Behind the confident smile and the strong personality, the voices of ghosts ruled my life until I began to understand all that God had done for me.  Jesus conquered every ghost and frightful enemy when He died on the cross.  When I finally took my eyes off the ghosts and snakes, and set my gaze steadily on Him, they began to leave me alone.  They had no choice.  Here’s why:

“O Lord, our God, other masters besides You have ruled over us, but we will acknowledge and mention Your name only.  They, the former tyrant masters, are dead, they shall not live and reappear; they are powerless ghosts, they shall not rise and come back. Therefore You have visited and made an end of them and caused every memory of them, every trace of their supremacy, to perish.”  Isaiah 26:13-14

How cool is that??  God is the REAL ghostbuster!

As a child I was unaware that my family was relatively poor.  There were those much less fortunate than we were, but in the big picture, we didn’t really have much.  If you’ve read previous posts you know that my father was self-employed; his income varied from one week to the next.  My mother was a homemaker and made our clothes.  I remember one of the few store-bought dresses I ever received.  It was yellow with flowers and buttons down the front.  I had evidently outgrown all that I had and there was a funeral to attend, no time for a homemade dress.  It was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen.  (I also got my first pair of panty hose at the same time.  My excitement quickly turned to distress, however, as I was little more than skin and bones, my ankles so small they didn’t stretch the wrinkles out of the hose!  I desperately hoped those attending would be dazzled by my beautiful dress and oblivious to my wrinkled ankles.)

My mother had seven mouths to feed each meal, and that was if no one was visiting.  Come to think of it, we never had that many visitors for dinner.  I’m sure that had to do with the fact that for many years the grocery budget was $15 per week.  My father was a meat and potatoes man, with pinto beans as a side dish at almost every meal.  Chicken was a common main dish and most often purchased whole.  My mother skillfully cut it into adequate pieces to feed the gang.  In remembering the process, I calculate that she only came up with eleven pieces of chicken, and that’s if you include the neck and the gizzard.  (Did I hear someone gag just now??)  Eleven pieces of chicken for seven people.  My dad, of course, would get the largest pieces and then each child had a particular piece they were served.  I don’t remember ever being asked which piece of chicken I wanted. But happy with the one I was served, it never occurred to me to ask for something different.  When the plates and bowls on the table were empty, the meal was over. There wasn’t anything left.

Although embarrassingly thin in form, my appetite was quite large.  I dearly loved my older siblings, but was happy at their leaving the nest upon realizing that now “seconds” could be served at mealtimes!  I don’t remember “leftovers” before their departure, either.  I dreamt of the day I would be grown and leaving home as well. On my grown up “things to do” list would be:  fry a chicken and a plate of french fries to be shared with no one.  I would be able to eat all I wanted!  (And I did!)

This morning my mind was drawn to a verse in the 23rd Psalm.  This is a very familiar passage to many, often read during difficult times.  I’ve heard many teachings on the Lord as my Shepherd – His guidance and protection.  But I’ve never heard a lot of focus on verse 5:  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  I remember writing in the margin of my bible years ago “What’s on the table?”. So this morning when I asked God that very same question, He answered “Everything you need.”

Have you ever been on a cruise ship?  One of the highlights is the never-ending buffet!  All you can eat, 24 hours a day!

Our Father, Who owns the cattle on a thousand hills, Who is Jehovah Jireh – The Lord Our Provider, has prepared a table for us. On this table our every need is met.  He isn’t lacking in any good thing, and His supply will never run out.  We need not worry that some will receive more than us, it’s ours for the taking.  No enemy can keep us away.  All we have to do is come to the table.

Are you weary and tired?  Come to the table and take the rest He’s provided.

Are you fearful?  Come to the table and take the protection and security He’s serving.

Are you wounded and brokenhearted?  Come to the table and take the love and healing He’s offering.

Are you looking for direction?  Come to the table and let Him show you the way.

Come to the table!  He’s saved you a seat and there’s more than enough!!

Did God meet your expectations today?  What did you expect?

Some days my expectations are high – I need to hear from Him or I need His power to accomplish a goal. Other days, I just need to make it to bedtime, to survive.  My expectations are low.  Either way, He’s there.  Before I ever come to Him with my need, He’s waiting.

What is God waiting for?  He’s waiting to be good to us.

Isaiah 30:18 says “And therefore the Lord earnestly waits – expecting, looking, and longing – to be gracious to you…”

Have you ever had something good you wanted to give to someone, but they were so busy all the time that you could never get their attention or their time?  Frustrating.  God has so much to give us if He could only get us to be still and give Him time, our attention.

The rest of that verse in Isaiah says “Blessed – happy, fortunate, to be envied – are all those who earnestly wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him – for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship!”

Have you ever loved someone who didn’t really want the love you had for them?  Heartbreaking.  God longs to lavish His love on us.  And if we would allow it, if we would spend time receiving this great love, it would provide the strength we need for every single day of our lives, no matter what comes our way.

Jesus taking up residence in our hearts is how we become rooted deep in, and founded securely on, love. He wanted His followers to have a practical experience of this love, not just knowledge about it.  Opening the door to this love in our lives allows God full access to us.  When He fills us with Himself, His power that is at work in us is able to “carry out His purpose and do super-abundantly, far over and above all that we dare ask or think – infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes and dreams!” (Ephesians 3:16-20)

Did you long for Him today?  Did you expect to experience His goodness today?  I must admit, my day started with the survival mindset.  Low expectations.  But His love sent me a phone call with just the right words of encouragement, just the right words of love that raised my expectations.  He’s good that way.