Driving through the traffic on what felt like the 100th errand I had run that day, I could feel it. The tentacles of resentment winding tightly around me threatening to suffocate. Fighting back the tears, I replayed in my mind all that I needed to be doing, all that I had planned to do, all that I wanted to be doing. If anyone asks me to do one more thing it will push me over the edge! Fatigue had been my companion for several days, which only added to my frustration, and when the enemy’s invitation to the pity party arrived, I responded by accepting. I didn’t stay at the party long, but we all know that any time spent there is too long.
Quiet times filled with prayers of surrender typically have me envisioning my life spent in noble endeavors that are worthy of the martyrdom I sometimes feel. Sacrificing my time and efforts to teach others about God, working to relieve the suffering of the poor and the homeless, blogging exhortations and encouragements to build up the body of Christ – these are the things I am called to do!! Help me, Lord! If everyone would just leave me alone, I could do what I’m supposed to do!!
Do you love me?
Do you trust me?
Will you do whatever I ask?
I want to, Lord.
Will you pour your life out for Me?
Yes, it is my deepest desire to live my life for You, Lord.
Will you pour your life out in the mundane if I ask you to?
I am not quick to respond to this question He asks. I hesitate. I know my heart is not hidden from Him and I cannot lie. I do not want to spend my life only doing the mundane, every day activities.
When I’m finally back at home, I have just enough time to prepare for bible study. When I arrive at the church, I realize that we’ve had interruptions in our schedule for a couple of weeks and I’d neglected to send a reminder email that class would be resuming. I’m early and once I’ve settled in I have time to myself while waiting to see if anyone will remember to come. I’m thinking about my day and this phrase plays over and over in my mind: a life poured out.
Remember Who I am. Remember that I knew the events of this day long before they touched your life. Remember that My Son came to give you life, a good life that you would enjoy. If you will do whatever I ask you to do and keep your focus on Me, I can do amazing things with even the everyday, mundane activities of your life. I can cause you to enjoy every moment spent with Me. I will use you to bless others and accomplish My purposes every day, and you’ll be satisfied if you keep your eyes on Me.
I repent. I change my mind and remember a verse I memorized years ago, but have strayed from:
Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily, as for the Lord and not for men… Colossians 3:23