I don’t know and I don’t care

Years ago I took a multiple choice test.  This particular test offered the usual assortment of possible A, B, & C answers to each question.  However, you can only imagine my delight when I discovered that the D answer was the same for each and every question:  I don’t know and I don’t care.  Sweet!  So given my hatred of word problems, each and every time I came to one, I selected D with absolutely no hesitation.  I daresay that I enjoyed taking this test solely based on the opportunity to refuse any attempt to solve whatever dilemma or equation was set before me in the dreaded word problem and declare that I simply do not know and do not care.  Perhaps this is the reason I achieved only an average score…no matter…it was so worth it!

Now I’ve decided to carry this same attitude into my life.

“What?!  How irresponsible!” you may gasp.  Let me explain…

Entering this season of life where I knew God was shaking things up, I stepped out in total confidence that I would trust Him with whatever He had in store.  But now as I look back, perhaps the more correct word is arrogance rather than confidence…  Oh, my faith hasn’t wavered.  I still stand strong knowing that God is doing a new thing.  My problem has come with my impatience.  I thought I would be further along in this journey by now.  I thought I would be full of fresh revelations and busy with the work I know I am called to do.  But I find that I continue to circle this mountain of learning to trust in the waiting.

I don’t know what’s next or how it will happen or when it will happen.  That’s easy to accept as His child because I know that faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen*.  I regularly exercise my faith in the not knowing.  But can I honestly say that I don’t care what’s next or how it will happen or when it will happen?

The definition of the word “care” includes regard coming from desire or esteem, and I most certainly regard the plans and dreams I have with desire and esteem.  However the primary definition of “care” is:  suffering of mind; a disquieted state of mixed uncertainty, apprehension, and responsibility.  I must admit, the latter is the “care” I have been carrying concerning my present and future states.  And this is exactly the kind of “care” we are instructed to cast away:

“Casting the whole of your care – all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.”  1 Peter 5:7

The intention in casting is to Throw it away – forcefully!  Deliberately!  Let it go!

This is not the first time in my life that I’ve had a lesson in casting.  I can look back and see the times God revealed to me the cares I was carrying and asked me to cast them, one by one, on Him.  I would spend quite a bit of time casting over and over and over until waking up one day to realize that I had finally once and for all cast my care of that thing on Him.  Ahhhh…the rest that is found there!

So today I pick up my anxiety, my worry, and my concern for all that is yet to be revealed, and I throw them off.  And later this afternoon, I’ll probably have to do it again.  And tonight, and tomorrow, and maybe more days than I would like.  But one day soon I will awake and know that I have let them go, once and for all, and I will again find rest for my soul.

When I look at it this way, having an attitude of I don’t know and I don’t care is exactly what He wants from me!

*Hebrews 11:1

 

I don’t know and I don’t care” was written by Kay Stinnett and first appeared on http://www.ourpassionatepurpose.com

 

 

 

 

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