Bible, Christian, church, Encouragement, Faith, friends, God, grace, Jesus, Spiritual, trials, Uncategorized

I don’t know and I don’t care

Years ago I took a multiple choice test.  This particular test offered the usual assortment of possible A, B, & C answers to each question.  However, you can only imagine my delight when I discovered that the D answer was the same for each and every question:  I don’t know and I don’t care.  Sweet!  So given my hatred of word problems, each and every time I came to one, I selected D with absolutely no hesitation.  I daresay that I enjoyed taking this test solely based on the opportunity to refuse any attempt to solve whatever dilemma or equation was set before me in the dreaded word problem and declare that I simply do not know and do not care.  Perhaps this is the reason I achieved only an average score…no matter…it was so worth it!

Now I’ve decided to carry this same attitude into my life.

“What?!  How irresponsible!” you may gasp.  Let me explain…

Entering this season of life where I knew God was shaking things up, I stepped out in total confidence that I would trust Him with whatever He had in store.  But now as I look back, perhaps the more correct word is arrogance rather than confidence…  Oh, my faith hasn’t wavered.  I still stand strong knowing that God is doing a new thing.  My problem has come with my impatience.  I thought I would be further along in this journey by now.  I thought I would be full of fresh revelations and busy with the work I know I am called to do.  But I find that I continue to circle this mountain of learning to trust in the waiting.

I don’t know what’s next or how it will happen or when it will happen.  That’s easy to accept as His child because I know that faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen*.  I regularly exercise my faith in the not knowing.  But can I honestly say that I don’t care what’s next or how it will happen or when it will happen?

The definition of the word “care” includes regard coming from desire or esteem, and I most certainly regard the plans and dreams I have with desire and esteem.  However the primary definition of “care” is:  suffering of mind; a disquieted state of mixed uncertainty, apprehension, and responsibility.  I must admit, the latter is the “care” I have been carrying concerning my present and future states.  And this is exactly the kind of “care” we are instructed to cast away:

“Casting the whole of your care – all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.”  1 Peter 5:7

The intention in casting is to Throw it away – forcefully!  Deliberately!  Let it go!

This is not the first time in my life that I’ve had a lesson in casting.  I can look back and see the times God revealed to me the cares I was carrying and asked me to cast them, one by one, on Him.  I would spend quite a bit of time casting over and over and over until waking up one day to realize that I had finally once and for all cast my care of that thing on Him.  Ahhhh…the rest that is found there!

So today I pick up my anxiety, my worry, and my concern for all that is yet to be revealed, and I throw them off.  And later this afternoon, I’ll probably have to do it again.  And tonight, and tomorrow, and maybe more days than I would like.  But one day soon I will awake and know that I have let them go, once and for all, and I will again find rest for my soul.

When I look at it this way, having an attitude of I don’t know and I don’t care is exactly what He wants from me!

*Hebrews 11:1

 

I don’t know and I don’t care” was written by Kay Stinnett and first appeared on http://www.ourpassionatepurpose.com

 

 

 

 

Bible, Christian, church, Encouragement, Faith, prayer

Word problems

I realized a few days ago that having written a post entitled The End without posting anything else since may have left some with the impression that I would not be writing again.  Not so, but I must admit I’ve been struggling.  Two weeks full of ball games and activities, a troubling-but-not-so-serious running injury, and sleep deprivation have most definitely hindered my time at the keyboard.  But in reality, it’s more than that.  I’ve had time.  But I kept getting stuck.  I’d think I had something to say yet struggled to find the words.  Frustration set in and I saved the drafts in the hopes that whatever was there would make sense on another day.

Life feels like one humongous word problem right now and I’ve been lost in the details.

If Jimmy was walking 5 blocks north then 3 blocks east then 8 blocks south then 2 more blocks east, the real question is not what block Jimmy finally found himself on but why was he walking this path?  Was he simply out for a walk?   Was he trying to hide?  Was he lost?  Does he even want to be found?

The angst I experience when presented with a word problem stems all the way back to elementary school.  I was a good student and made good grades but lacked the confidence to believe this pattern would continue.  I labored over the details of word problems, afraid of being unable to find the solution.  Missing one small detail would result in an incorrect answer and thus would affect my grade.

If life is comparable to a giant word problem, I must change my perspective.  I cannot get lost in the details, afraid that one wrong move will disrupt the end results. God is much bigger than that.  He has promised to direct my steps and at the same time asks me to walk each of these steps in faith.  I cannot see the end results.  He’s given me vision as to the direction I am headed, and I must cling to this vision when my steps seem to be taking me further away.  I don’t want to wander aimlessly as I strongly suspect poor Jimmy has done.

As I once again sought God for more answers during this uncomfortable state of limbo in which I find myself, this is what He said:

“And the Light shines on in the darkness, for the darkness has never overpowered it.”  John 1:5 

We all have times of darkness.  Sometimes the darkness is sin that we must face and deal with.  Sometimes the darkness is pain that cannot be avoided, only endured.  Sometimes the darkness is that we don’t understand why.  Sometimes the darkness is simply that we cannot see what is next.  No matter the source or the reason for the darkness, our hope is in the Light that will surely shine on us at just the right moment and the darkness will be powerless against It.

In the beginning was the Word…”*  If the Word was here first, He will most certainly be the answer to our word problems in this life.

 

Word problems” was written by Kay Stinnett and first appeared on http://www.ourpassionatepurpose.com